Stories

How is a parent to navigate a digital world in which the average age to acquire a smartphone is 10, and many children begin requesting a phone long before the double digits? Understand that average age does not align with optimal age. We know that being young and spending excessive time on personal devices correlates with a decrease in attention, memory, openness to experiences, and impulse control, and that is just the short-list of concerns. Though major health organizations recommend less than two hours per day, not including school-related usage, many children greatly exceed those limits with the average elementary-age child logging 4-5 hours of screen time daily for entertainment purposes. 

Before passing that phone or iPad to your child, take charge and make intentional decisions for your family by applying a 5W1H thought process:

Who is your child in terms of age and temperament? The longer you can delay giving your child a device, the healthier the outcome. Be realistic about your child’s predisposition when it comes to device usage. Are they easily consumed by screens, or able to regulate themselves more easily?

What are they using a device for? Assess the value of screen time based on type of activity. Is it passive, interactive, communicative, or creative? 

When are they using a device? Be thoughtful about timing beyond just the usual cautionary tales of before-bedtime use. Ask yourself what else would your child be doing if they weren’t using a device (e.g., playing outside, reading, building, interacting with the family or a pet, etc.)

Where is your child using a device? If your child is having screen time at a friend’s house, do they know your rules, wishes, and values for what they can access and participate in?

Why are they using a device? Is it for distraction from a feeling, a primary means of social connection, or to fit in? Does it have value, such as academics, exploring a talent or interest, or when other forms of personal interaction are not feasible?

How much time is your child on a device, and how much supervision is realistic for you? 

Further actions to partially mitigate the impact of time spent on screens include:

• Avoid it becoming a replacement for in-vivo experiences or socialization. 
• Take seriously the need to model healthy habits for yourself. Studies show that parents' online habits are very closely reflected in that of their children. 
• Make use of apps that help monitor and control usage like Bark and Kidslox. 
• Know your priorities. If sleep, exercise, mealtime, and time spent outdoors are emphasized, it will inherently displace time that can be monopolized by screens.

For more support in making deliberate choices regarding your child and devices, see the following links. 

• What Students Are Saying About Phone Use
• Why Kids Need Time In Nature
• Children and Too Much Screen Time